Solid as a Rock

While on holiday in September, I encountered the scariest moment of my life. I was with a priest from Cheshire on “Ralph & Ian’s Great California Adventure” for the first two weeks of September. Part of our journey around the state, which has the same land mass as the British Isles, took us to Yosemite National Park. The park is slightly smaller than the county of Kent, and is set in the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range in eastern California.

We had planned for months to hike to the top of Half Dome, Yosemite’s highest point and most stunning feature. Yosemite and Half Dome have inspired many artists and writers, including Ansel Adams and the founders of the company North Face, who use Half Dome for their corporate logo. The hike to Half Dome takes anywhere from 8 to 12 hrs, is 19 miles round-trip, and offers a gain of 4,800 ft (from 4,000 ft above sea level at the Valley Floor, to 8,800 ft at the top of Half Dome). It is not a journey for the fainthearted!

Ralph and I were ready, excited and unstoppable! Ralph regularly climbs mountains in Scotland. I trained by walking around Manchester with my backpack stuffed with 8L of bottled water. On September 14, we arose at 5.00am, and drove into the park from our hotel. We parked in the designated parking lot, just as dawn was beginning. Clearly, we weren’t the first to hit the trail head. The parking lot had about 50 cars in it, already. And a group of 6 college kids, and a solo Canadian woman would be setting out at approximately the same time as us.

So, at 6.43am, we began our ascent to see the world from 8,800ft…from the famed Half Dome. Along the way, the scenery was stunningly beautiful. The park is mostly made of granite structures jutting their way through the redwood forests. There were sheer faces of granite, which were smooth and rounded on the other side. Redwood trees clung on for their lives from the cliff edges, but also lined the paths that we traversed. Rivers ran through the park, silently and sweetly. Then we turned a corner and saw the raging waterfall, one of many which plunged over the granite, spilling the winter snow’s runoff down thousands of feet to the Valley Floor below.

We curiously met hikers who were clearly on their way down from Half Dome, even before most campers had arisen. We stopped and asked on young woman what time she had started off that morning. “I left the Valley Floor at 3.30am. It was worth it!”

 

We reached the base of Half Dome after 4hrs, just past 10.00am. I thought, “Great time we’re making. We’ll go up, look around and take photos, eat our lunch, and make it back in time to buy postcards before the gift shop closes.” We ascended the first “hump”, up rudimentary steps that had been hewn into the rock by hand. Then we got to a little “saddle” between this first “hump” and the real Half Dome. We knew that the Park had installed a set of guide rails to assist people getting up the last 1,200 feet. You can see them in the photo. We took a bit of a rest, took some photos, mustered up the courage, and then set our sights on the summit.

As you can imagine, it is really windy up at 7,600 ft and higher. We counted ourselves lucky that it wasn’t a hot day, with a bit of cloud cover. We donned the gloves, from the pile that is left at the base for climbers-to-come. We grabbed the guide wires, and began our ascent.

This is what we had been waiting for for months! One wooden “rung” at a time…steady, slow…no need to hurry. I was one rung above Ralph. At rung 7, Ralph began to express some doubt. “Just one at a time!” I shouted back. “This next one is a long one!” Ralph made the 6 meters or so to rung 8 as I struggled to rung 9. “I’m going back,” I heard. It was at that moment, I realized how incredibly scared I was. I had masked my fear for about 5 rungs, but in reality, I was more scared than I had ever been in my life. One tiny slip, the mere act of letting go for a second, and I would slide several thousand feet to my death on the Valley Floor below. Sure, it would be quick, and likely instantaneous, but it was not my time.

To be frank and honest, I started to cry. I was so frightened, and though I strangely found the whipping wind comforting, I also knew that it could contribute to me facing my mortality. What do we do? There’s only one way up and one way down. Other climbers were behind us. And going down was even more scary than going up! I heard a strong, young voice encouraging Ralph. “It’s not far. You’re going to be okay. My best friend is right behind you, and he’ll help you.” I could see under my arm that a climber had stopped and leant against the guide wire to let Ralph pass, and he was helping him along. But that meant I had to let go with one hand to get around him! And his friend!!

I heard Ralph say that he had made it to the bottom, and the climber then focused on getting me down. I was a bit slower than Ralph, because I was now terrified. The stunning views to either side of me caused the terror to increase. My hands were weak, and I now had to go around at least two people who were going up. But, as promised, they were their to help. I finally made it to the bottom, shaking, just wanting to sit down.

 

We weren’t alone in our fear. There were several others around who had tried, as we did, and returned to the bottom. There were others who simply let their hiking partners go up and just could not face the final ascent, the mountain in front of them. It came to pass the that hiker and his best friend who helped us were young firefighters from 29 Palms, California, a small wealthy community in Southern California. We talked to him on the way down the mountain later on. He and 11 of his buddies had come to Yosemite for the week. He had made it to the top and thought it was spectacular.

On the 4½-hr hike down to the Valley Floor, I had a lot of time to reflect about my journey, my failed attempt, and my relationship with God at that particular moment when fear struck. I remember saying to a young woman, who congratulated us for making it as far as she did (she saw the whole ordeal), “I have no need to conquer Nature.”

Sometimes we as human beings take our role of “Stewards of the Earth” to a level that is beyond what we have been granted. We want to take control of our surroundings, rather than dwell among them. I never had the notion that I was going to “conquer” Half Dome; I merely wanted to see what was so spectacular, and I truly believed that I could do it…those many months ago. In reality, I couldn’t do it. Perhaps I could, physically and mentally, but at that moment, I couldn’t. Yet, I don’t feel “defeated” by Half Dome. Over the 9½ hours of our hiking and climbing, I saw what I came to see. I dwelt among God’s Creation. As a steward of God’s Creation, I am to enjoy it, but also protect it…there was never a command to conquer it.

As with my experience while helping out in Mississippi after Hurricane Katrina last year, I increased my respect for God’s Creation while at Half Dome. Creation, Nature, is just as much a part of life, death and the universe as I am. Creation has its own role to play in God’s plan…whatever that is…whatever that means. Creation and I are to co-exist, just as you and I are to co-exist. The spritely squirrels and chipmunks at Yosemite get to go up and down Half Dome whenever they want. Half Dome sits there majestically alongside Liberty Dome and El Capitan, large granite formations which were there long before I was, and which will be there long before I’m gone. They may be imposing and intimidating, as humans can be, yet they are stunningly beautiful, silent, posing no threat to anyone, as humans struggle to be.

Half Dome has done nothing to me; everything about my experience I did to Half Dome. But like God, Half Dome will always be there. God is unchangeable, and always there for me, for us. And my journey toward God the Rock is sometimes long and arduous, with many switchbacks to get up the steep slopes. Yet, in my fear and terror of whatever situation I’ve gotten myself into, God is there to say to me “My best friend, my Son, is right behind you.”
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